The Depths of the Sea.

I was reading a manga online and this page completely took my attention. http://img.mangastream.to/manga/air-gear/194/007.png Sometimes I feel this way… like… who would notice? I know that plenty of people have experienced this feeling, but still, that makes me no less sad at the thought… It’s just like as if you were in the bottom of the sea, so far away that no light can reach you, so deep in it that just the water and the space between you and the next person is such to make it as if your existence were meaningless… That is a depressing subject… In the moment I’m okay, I can notice the people who care for me… but it happened before and I predict that I shall fall back into this black waters of nothingness, where all that you can feel is the coldness of the water that surrounds you, and it scares me to start thinking about the subjects that took me there at the first place, for in this moment of clear thoughts I am aware that I have never acquired the answer to prove to myself that I was wrong. And being aware that you escaped, instead of surpassing it, makes you aware that you can end up at the same spot you were once before and, this time, escaping might not be possible. Know this. I’m a happy “kid”. The child inside of me is happy and has tons of illusions about the world and the workings of the same. And I live my life according to that kids principles. But there’s also another part of me that understands that those illusions might easily be smashed  to pieces if I don’t work hard to prove them possible everyday… Well my dear mates, beware the big black ocean, during the day it might seem to be all blue and beautiful, but it just might show its dark side to you and, at that moment, you will find your self with water in your lungs, coldness all around you, wishing it was a sith or monsters dark side you were fighting. If you happen to find the answer to the question that took you there, share it. Otherwise, if you escape the same way I did, keep it to yourself… You just might end up depressing the ones around you… Luck to all. Good or bad it shall depend on the wheel’s will.

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Empty Drive Bar

I know it will sound weird and hard to grasp to a few of you, but it makes this no less true or any easier…

I have a feeling of emptiness right now.

I have been lacking other feelings… It’s been real hard to get of from my bed, the reasons to move just seems less real, less important… they can pass me by and it’ll not matter…

I got up to work… move slowly but get there, do what need be done…

I’m feeling pretty much under everything right now… It’s like… well it does not matter…

Today should be a great day, “Talk like a Pirate” day… But I’m just not in the mood… I’m not really in any mood… a shitty one might be accessible…

I don’t really know what to do. I suppose some people would just fall to the ground in tears or cry himself to sleep… Instead I had a bit of insomnia, something that resembles a nightmare and missed classes…

I feel as if I were in a void… somewhat detached from my body…

Now, I must say something. If ever I doubted chocolate’s ability to keep us up, and make things less horrible, those doubts are gone. It is holding me right now, bar over bar…

x

I have searched for meaning in life… and I just have none. I lack reason. I feel useless, as if my presence would be easily left aside by existence itself without much bureaucracy, and it’s a mistake easily forgiven.

I know there are people who care for me… But what can you do when you feel just as if you could be replaced with no harm done and without difficulty?

My abilities are not numerous, my capabilities simple and the features that identify myself are common as they get.

Sure… I’m nice enough… So?

I lack something… I have no idea what it is… but I’ve dropped it… and need to find out what it is and how to get it back…

Real Soon.

Name

**The name used for this site came from the Hitgrab game Mousehunt. It’s a tribute to the game and the company, and will be altered at their first request.**